Beware: the narcissistic sociopath

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

I’m interested in what makes people tick and as a writer, I think I need to understand what makes people tick.Although, I must admit, certain characters are hard to define. I’m referring to the outwardly charming, narcissistic sociopath.

Unfortunately, my daughter Rene married one. (She writes about her continuing nightmare in Jesus Loves Me But The Christians Tried To Kill Me: Memoirs From A Jezebel.

I wish she could have avoided the man she calls AntiChrist, but at least she’s blogging about her experience, warning and entertaining others in the process.

However, I’m thinking I need to post some red flags that say look out for this sicko. Be warned the narcissistic sociopath can ruin your life.

With that in mind, I came across this quiz. If you answer yes to most of the questions below, run, run run away, end the relationship NOW. The narcissistic sociopath will NEVER change.

1. Does he or she act out in verbally aggressive behaviors, or does he or she have ‘rages’, especially if he or she feels insulted in some way? Does he or she blame ‘you’ or accuse you of being the one that is ‘acting out’ or ‘out-of-control’?

2. In the beginning was he or she just ‘too good to be true’?

3. Does he or she rely on you financially, or does he or she ask you to help fund things?

4. Does he or she often spend outside of the budget?

5. Is everything always about him or her and nothing ever about you? Does he or she seem insensitive to your needs, unappreciative of your input, or non-acknowledging of your accomplishments? Does he or she not recognize your giving, kindness, and thoughtfulness? Does he or she seem genuinely not interested in your life?

6. Is he or she controlling? Do you often feel manipulated?

7. Does he or she show one side (Dr. Jekyll) to the public (a perfected persona which you know is fake), and another side (Mr. Hyde) to you in private? Does he or she go out of the way to impress people?

8. Does his or her ego bruise easily, or is he or she hyper-vigilant to the slightest insult? Do you have to be careful how you word things or voice grievances?

9. Does he or she expect special treatment or feel ‘entitled’ to it?

10. Does he or she talk about himself or herself more than you feel is normal?

11. Does he or she avoid eye contact with you, or does he or she withhold sex or affection? Has he or she been unfaithful?

12. Does he or she seem to lack empathy or compassion for others, or does he or she ‘fake’ it to enhance ‘public persona’?

13. Do you feel emotionally battered and confused?

14. Have you noticed your confidence or self-esteem slipping?

15. Is he or she histrionic? In other words, in public does he or she hog the limelight, putting on exaggerated shows and telling fascinating stories in order to be the center of attraction?

16. Is he or she loud or does he or she become center stage when engaging in simple conversations with other people?

Posted by at 7:21 AM

22 thoughts on “Beware: the narcissistic sociopath”

  5. Ideal Page, we have being reading this net recent years mornings but in our day write-up took the time to thank you for your facts you’ll be giving around.

  7. I do consider all of the ideas you have introduced to your post. They’re very convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are very short for novices. Could you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

  9. within the last year I really started to notice the attempt at manipulation.. im a straong person and a good communicator.. my best friend died in my arms when i was 18.. Its very tough knowing Ive given the last 3 years to a lieing, cheating,manipulating, drug addicting, narcissistic, sociopath…. I gave him my world, my time, my love and support and got chewed on and spit out in return… I felt more in Love the ever before.. i had a best friend in my lover.. I learned im to caring towards people who dont deserve it .. it felt real when he was sober.. i could tell instantly if he got high his personality would change. his trust non existant… it turns out he didnt want to change after all… he could talk the talk but never walked the walk… \i did everything.. saved him numerous times… only for him to beat me up emotionally.. use everything he possible could on me… Where do i go from here..
    messed with my head..

  10. Hi Ash, I’m so sorry to hear of your heartache, but I understand completely. Read: “Women who Love too much,” and books like “Dependency no More.” I think Melanie Beaty (Don’d know if I’ve spelled her name correctly) wrote the last book. She has many other helpful book to help in your recovery. I’ve been where you are. Love yourself first and take care of yourself. You are worth it. Thank you for visiting my blog and good luck to you. Hugs, Sandy

  13. I glad you found this article helpful. It’s always better to be on guard against the narcissistic sociopath than to become involved with one, but hopefully, now you are free and know not to walk down that road again. Good luck to you. http://www.sandysemerad.com

  14. dear ashb,

    so sorry to know that you have gone through so much and giving your heart away to a heartless person! This is absolutely abuse and you are caught in a toxic r/s. Please terminate your contact with the narcissistic sociopath and determine to leave him!

    I went thru my share of experience and therefore can identify with what you are struggling with! Yes, the emotional manipulation and blackmail , psychological games with mockery, accusations and non appreciation are clear signs and indications for you to stop this r/s!

    As you have invested in him emotionally, it is an emotional attachment that you are having with him, but REMEMBER he is not doing the same for you … its non reciprocal! Do not hurt yourself anymore! Do not give your power away! Take it back immediately by no contact. Give yourself some time to heal and recover…for as long as you need and get over the person!

    I honestly believed that the devil is behind that pull of your emotions towards this sociopath, so wise up, respect yourself and do not give in again… you will be in self-deception, delusion and illusion – that is what the devil is doing! Break free from it right away! No more second chances for him, absolutely no more! you have the power to stop it by your own personal choice and individual decision. Ask Jesus to help you, especially if you are a true believer! God bless you with His Strength, Grace and Peace!

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  21. Hi Sandy,
    We met at the rest area just above Clanton, Ala
    On Wednesday, November 20th. We were both walking our little dogs and started talking about everything under the sun. Do you realize we spent almost an hour chatting? I dont know if it was your charm, your intellect or your kind mannerism but i felt a sense of ease throughout our entire conversation, which covered work, jobs, pets, children, writting, homes and life. Please contact me when you get a minute whether text, email or call, i was hoping you could advise me on a certain topic we spoke about at the rest area.
    Take Care and thank you!
    May I hear from you soon….
    Sincerely,
    Joanne

  22. Hi Joanne,

    Great to hear from you. I appreciate your kind comments, and enjoyed talking to you, too. I look forward to connecting with you via e-mail. I will shoot you an e-mail when I have a moment and not rushing around so much. Hugs! Sandy

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