My third novel Message in the Roses, needs a home. Below is the query lettery I’m sending out. I welcome your suggestions. I’ll keep you posted on the book’s progress. I’ll post an excerpt of the book soon. Hugs.
My recently completed novel, Message in the Roses, is loosely based on a murder trial I covered as a journalist in Atlanta. It’s also a love story.
Protagonist Carrie Sue Justice, 25, is a fearless and tenacious journalist with a chaotic personal life.
Marcus, 35, is a seasoned newspaper man and decorated war veteran unable to forgive himself for the accidental death of his late wife.
They begin a steamy love affair at a time when the community is in turmoil. Four black boys have been accused of shooting and killing a white boy. Before the trial begins, one of the boys allegedly hangs himself in his jail cell. Another boy pleads guilty. The two remaining youths are to be tried as adults. Tatum’s defense attorney calls Carrie Sue’s best friend and “black brother” to testify. Freemont swears he spotted Tatum blocks away from the crime scene during the time of the shooting death. As a result of Freemont’s testimony, Freemont and Carrie Sue become targets.
Message in the Roses (82,500 words) shares common themes with classics like Gone with the Wind, To Kill a Mockingbird and A Time to Kill. Carrie Sue tells this story in her southern voice and readers should be able to identify with her grief, the betrayal of her husband and her messy divorce. With passion and determination, she rises above her personal sorrow to fight injustice and defy fierce adversaries without backing down. The erotic lovemaking in this novel occurs naturally as Marcus changes from killjoy workaholic, who struggles with inner demons, to hot romantic hero.
Like Carrie Sue, I was born and raised in the South. I earned a Journalism degree from Georgia State University and worked as a reporter, columnist, broadcaster and editor. My first two books have been well received. Mardi Gravestone was rebirthed as Sex, Love & Murder. My second book Hurricane House received 4.5 stars from Romantic Times and 5 stars from Midwest Book Review.
I greatly appreciate your time and expertise. May I send you a copy of my manuscript?
Sincerely,
Sandy Semerad
Ssemerad@aol.com
Hi Sandy,
I’ve just joined with Books We Love, and was touring fellow authors’ websites to see how I can improve mine when I stumbled upon your query letter. For my two cents, I would suggest that you condense your book plot a bit.
Maybe you could start with a one-liner each about your 2 principal characters?
Then the main conflict: Four black boys have been accused of shooting and killing a white boy. Before the trial begins, one of the boys allegedly hangs himself in his jail cell. Another boy pleads guilty. The two remaining youths are to be tried as adults. Tatum’s defense attorney calls Carrie Sue’s best friend and “black brother” to testify. Freemont swears he spotted Tatum blocks away from the crime scene during the time of the shooting death. As a result of Freemont’s testimony, Freemont and Carrie Sue become targets.
I like the rest of the pitch. Now, you should bear in mind that I have no personal success with querying an agent and I could be wrong about this.
At any rate, I wish you every success with your query.
Hi Cathy,
Thank you for your suggestions. I like them. I’ll see if I can incorporate the changes you suggested. I have a shorter query letter than the one I displayed on my blog, but I began to second guess myself. I find it grueling to write query letters. I really appreciate you’re taking the time to critique this. Hugs and good luck with your writing and your web site.
Sandy http://www.sandysemerad.com